This is quite a special situation for me. Having played last as a closer for almost all teams I’ve ever been a part of since 1996, going first is not something that I’m used to. Hopefully I will do a better job going first as a writer than as a player (2 career starts, 1 substitute).

I was hoping to be able to write my first blog post with a sixth straight gold medal in the Swedish Cup, but due to a more or less abysmal quarterfinal against Tantogården 1 I’m sitting here with noting more than a decent personal average from the competition. Congratulations to Tantogården and their new more international team. It might sound that I’m complaining, but that’s not the case. You see, I’m rooting for the New York Yankees in baseball and right before Christmas we signed the top three free agents at a combined salary of an astonishing $423,5 million. Not wanting to bore everyone out just yet I'd like to borrow a line from John Cleese, or any other member of the Flying Circus, “And now for something completely different.”

I will take this blog opportunity to give my thoughts on different things in the minigolf world, including players, teams, rules, referees and referees following (or not) the rules. I would like to point out that I have nothing against anyone in person, but maybe the person’s actions. For example I really enjoy spending time with Fredrik Persson and love to have him on my team, but when he was playing for Malmö, he was a complete ass. Then of course that was their style (to intimidate and unsettle the opposition) and most of the players were still very nice to chat to when not playing.

If any of you readers were at the EC in Hilzingen you probably know what’s coming. I have written regarding this in the Swedish Minigolf Magazine already, so this will be some sort of translation with changes. First let me give you the list of penalties given at the EC:
Maria Olsson, BGK Jönköping (Admonition Time, round 1)
Maria Olsson, BGK Jönköping (Warning with 1 Penalty, round 6)
Charlotte Ryner, Uppsala BGK (Admonition Time, round 6)
Lars Brown, Uppsala BGK (Admonition Time, round 6)
Michel Rhyn, MC Olten (Admonition Time, round 6)
Domenico Garbui, G.S.P. Vergiate (Admonition Time, round 6)
Jonas Gustavsson, BGK Jönköping (Admonition Time, round 6)

Didn’t Germany or Austria participate?? I’m not saying that any of the penalties above are incorrect. Neither Maria nor Charlotte are fast players in any way and Jonas can’t really be regarded as that either. Lars, however, is probably the fastest player in the world once at the tee, but since he’s also pretty careful when cleaning the lanes I don’t find it totally impossible that he exceeded 60 seconds. I was three meters away when Michel got his admonition, from the Swiss head referee, and I can guarantee that it was far, far from being a time consuming shot. What annoys me a lot is the non-existing German and Austrian presence in the penalty list. Referees can’t see everything; I understand that, but come on. Five Swedish penalties, one Swiss and one Italian! Who are we kidding? I was timed by the referees on several occasions. One round the referee checked me four lanes in a row, but after looking at his watch he must’ve realized it was a waste of time. Linus was also timed during that final day (which is more of a joke than timing me), but for some reason the third player in our group never was, at least not in the apparent way me and Linus were. Who was the third player, you ask? Well, the team plays in black and yellow. We actually asked the referees to time one of the Mainz players and she was given a talking to right away. But instead of staying with the player and timing on the next lane as it was done with us Swedes, the referee went away to the other side of the course and the player wasn’t timed again!
Now I know that everyone reading this believes that I hate the way the referees were doing their job with the stop watch. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I actually applaud the men with the watches and give them all the credit of making this EC the fastest international tournament ever played. It’s only a shame that not all players are playing under the same rules. Continuing on the same subject why was Nicole allowed to play without the Mainz uniform for several rounds? Nothing against Nicole, if I thought that something other than Uppsala’s dress was more comfortable I would use it until someone told me to change. Why was Alice allowed to have five coaches cleaning lane 17 the last round, but we were told by the referee we could only use two when Charlotte played the same lane a couple of minutes later?? I support the decision to let Alice have five coaches, the cleaning goes quicker, but should that rule apply to Swedes also? I would like to add that Swedes also can get away with clear breaking of the rules, depending on their reputation I would guess. On round 6 my ball got stuck on the plateau on lane 15, and being rather annoyed (I was +3 on that lane…) I kicked the board with a strike that would’ve made Zlatan proud. A referee gently tapped my shoulder after the lane and asked me to not kick the lanes and then he walked away. Why on earth didn’t I get an admonition for that? I can pretty much guarantee that if Marcus Larsson had done the same we could read his name on the penalty list.

Having written this last part I will probably get an admonition at this year’s EC in Vaduz if I drop a pen in a loud way, sneeze at a bad time or not wearing a sports hat as the rule book actually states. Could someone rephrase that part of the rules, please?

I leave you this time with a famous law that not only fits perfectly with minigolf, but also with life in general. Murphy’s law simply states: “If anything can go wrong, it will.” I also must point out that the law was not invented by Murphy, but by another man with the same name.